If left unchecked, our self-doubt and negative self-talk can "talk over" all the other thoughts you have. When this happens, limiting beliefs can be created - even though there is no truth to it or evidence to support it, you will believe that you simply are not capable or deserving of certain things.
There will be a nagging whisper in your head telling you that no matter how hard you try you will never be able to do that thing you want to do or that you will never have that experience you dream of because you don't deserve it.
All this negativity can take up a lot of space and it can squeeze out any healthy self-talk or attempts at changing your thought patterns.
Don't let it. Keep challenging your self-doubt and negative thought patterns.
Do not let it limit you.
You are deserving and worth more than you realize. You are strong and capable. You are worth fighting for. Many times a day you will be faced with the choice to doubt yourself or to love yourself. Choose to love yourself and believe in yourself every time.
You are worth this choice every single time, especially when the voice of self-doubt is the loudest.
Keep choosing yourself until that limiting belief is quiet. Limiting beliefs do not serve you. You do not need to listen to them anymore.
We all have biases about what girls and women should and should not be and if we don't recognize that and work to change those beliefs, we subtly or overtly, continue to limit the girls and women around us, and even ourselves.
Remember, if your thoughts and actions aren't moving the idea of equality forward, they are holding women back.
Asking yourself what you need to hear today is an easy way to improve your self-talk and try out self-compassion.
Maybe you wish someone would tell you that you matter, that you are beautiful, that it will be OK, that you're not the only one who feels this way, that it won't always feel so lonely, or that they see how hard you are trying.
You don't need to wait for someone to say these things to you, you can tell yourself right now. There is power in asking yourself what you need to hear, acknowledging that need, and then fulfilling it, all on your own.
It is both comforting and powerful to give yourself this gift. You can say the words quietly in your head or you can shout them out loud, whatever feels right to you.
It feels really good when you have others to support and comfort you, but it also a wonderful feeling when you can give comfort and support to yourself.
Lots of us are carrying around a lot of shame, guilt, or regret around decisions we made in our past. We have all made choices that we regret and maybe did things we wish we hadn't to cope. Carrying around all that regret is heavy and it impacts so many areas of our lives.
Sometime it gets in the way of feeling proud of our accomplishments or deserving or enough because regret says, "you may have done good now but remember when..."
You will feel so much lighter by just carrying what you have learned with you and putting down what no longer serves you.
In case you need to hear this today❤️
The language used in your self-talk and thought patterns has a huge impact on your reactions, feelings, and beliefs about pretty much everything. Changing how you speak to yourself can change how you feel and react about situations, problems, and people.
Feeling stressed? Pay attention to your self-talk. Is it helping to keep your stress level manageable or encouraging it to spiral? Taking steps to ensure your self-talk uses kind and gentle language, and is keeping things in perspective will help to keep stress levels in check. You can start small by reminding yourself that it’s OK to feel stressed, everyone does sometimes, but you won’t feel this way forever.
Sometimes we all need a reminder to take a moment to check-in with ourselves.
Although the concept of a "New Year's resolution" works for some people, it doesn't work for everyone. The idea of a resolution can be overwhelming and intimidating. It can also be easy to give up on a year long goal after one slip-up or setback.
Whatever success looks like for you today, celebrate it.
Checked off everything on your to-do list? Celebrate it.
Made your bed and brushed your teeth? Celebrate it.
Showed up for that thing you were anxious about? Celebrate it.
Celebrating your success everyday, no matter how big or small, can give you the motivation to face tomorrow's challenges. Having that motivation can help you get your day started and just getting started can be the hardest part.
Part of self-care is listening to your thoughts and paying attention to your feelings. If you criticize what you are thinking or how you are feeling, you are reinforcing other negative thought patterns. If instead you give yourself the permission to approach your thoughts and feelings with curiosity, you can gain understanding and move past any lingering negative thought patterns or limiting beliefs. You deserve a few minutes to process with curiosity anything that may have come up throughout the day. Working this practice into your daily routine is a gift you can give yourself to strengthen your mental health, increase your self-awareness, and lower your stress level. It doesn’t need to be a big time commitment, even 5 or 10 minutes can make a difference. You are worth spending time on💜
It can be a stressful time of year. For students it is very busy with assignments and/or exams. For adults there is all of the stress that can come with the holiday season. The imagery of the “happy family holiday” can be painful for many- kids, teens, and adults. Things happen. People say things. We might feel overwhelmed, unappreciated, or lonely. Being gentle and compassionate with yourself will help ease your stress. We can’t control what those around us say or do, but we can control how we process those occurrences. Make sure your inner voice or your self talk is kind and gentle with you. Try to be curious instead of critical with yourself. Remind yourself what you have to be grateful for today. There is a lot of pressure and expectation put on people at this time of the year - know that you are not alone in feeling stressed/overwhelmed/inadequate. You can be the person that acknowledges all of this and also acknowledges that you need and deserve a few minutes of calm and gentle time with yourself - not just in December, but everyday.
I have spoken with several people this week that are in various stages of their healing. A few reminders for them, and you:
1. There is nothing wrong with you. You are a beautiful, valuable person who deserves love and acceptance.
2. The things you did to cope with trauma when you were a child do not make you “weird”, you were just trying to make sense of a situation that was too big for you to understand.
3. It is perfectly OK and normal to talk about what is bothering you.
4. I know it’s not easy to work through everything you are feeling but you don’t have to do it all at once. You can heal at your own pace.
5. The time that you spend on self-care and taking care of your needs is time well spent, you are worth it.
6. Everyone feels overwhelmed sometimes. You are not alone in feeling like you don’t have it all together.
7. Be gentle with yourself, you are deserving of kindness and compassion.
Some days are harder than others for everyone. When this happens to you, it is important to know that it is not a setback, it does not mean all the progress you have made is lost. It is just a day that is a bit harder than the day before. It does not mean tomorrow will be worse or even as hard. Having hard days is normal and the hard days won’t last forever. Knowing this helps to keep things in perspective and reminds us that we will be okay.
At a time when so many people are feeling overwhelmed and anxious, I wanted to acknowledge and applaud all of the beautiful things that I see people doing to improve their mental health and well being. You might think you aren’t doing anything worth noting or that the steps you are taking don’t affect anyone else, but this is what I see: I see people talking about how they are feeling and the relief others feel when they find out they aren’t alone. I see people who are facing their own challenges supporting others, I see people telling their story in the hope that it will help someone else. I see people trying out mindfulness and journaling, and talking about self-talk and self-care. I see people asking for help when they need it, and people reaching out to others to let them know they are not alone. I see people opening up about their self-doubt and learning to practice self-compassion. Thank-you to everyone who shares their experiences and to those who are open to hearing about them. There is immense value in what you are doing and saying and you are making more of a difference than you know.
In case you see feeling stressed today, remember to pay attention to your inner dialogue. If your self-talk is acting to increase your stress level instead of acting to decrease it, try interrupting your unhelpful thought patterns and watch your stress levels decrease. Unhelpful thought patterns create distance between you and your goals, make situations feel unmanageable and never ending, and although they may feel true in the moment, they are not. Reminding yourself that those negating thought patterns are untrue will help to reduce your stress. Don’t judge yourself for believing those negative thoughts, we all make the thinking error of believing that our thoughts are facts sometimes. 💜
The start of a new school year is stressful and can cause an increase in anxiety and feelings of overwhelm. It can cause us to feel like we don’t fit in or aren’t smart enough or good-looking enough. It can feel there is something wrong with us, like everyone has everything figured out but us, and it can lead to an increase in negative thought patterns and/or self-harming behaviours. Instead of getting down on yourself or getting stuck in a spiral of doubt and negativity, choose to treat yourself with compassion and love. Every minute you spend being kind and encouraging with yourself, you are getting stronger.
The next time you catch yourself having negative thoughts about yourself or wanting to harm yourself, try to disrupt the pattern or cycle. Instead of letting the thought pattern continue or engaging in self-harm, make the choice that you are going to show yourself some love instead. To read more, go to www.igniteprograms.com/blog
We can’t control many of the things that happen in our lives, but we can control how we react. A small shift in how we look at a situation can make things feel more tolerable or can help with feelings of pessimism, anxiety, overwhelm, or loneliness. Approaching a situation with self-compassion and gentle calming language can make things seem more manageable and in control.
There are many things in life that we have very little, if any, control over, but we can have control over how we process and react. That’s really where all the power is in most situations. Paying attention to your inner dialogue and thought patterns and taking steps to challenge and change thinking errors while practicing self-compassion leads to not only healthier self talk, but also an improved quality of life. This doesn’t mean you won’t ever doubt yourself or have a negative thought, but when you do, you can approach it with curiosity and critical thinking and gain understanding and insight instead of spiralling into insecurity and limiting thought patterns. How you process things has a huge impact on your quality of life and you can choose to start making improvements whenever your are ready. Need help getting started? Check out the Creating Calm Workbook at www.igniteprograms.com.
I don’t know who first said, “what you don’t change you choose,” but this speaks to me. It is easy to complain about situations or relationships we aren’t happy with, but complaining without action doesn’t change anything. It just gets you stuck. Instead, create change by making different choices for yourself. Making different choices can mean setting a boundary, choosing to look at a situation with self-compassion, focusing on self-care, trying something new, or working to change your thought patterns and react differently to a situation. Challenge yourself to make a different choice the next time you are frustrated with something and see what change you can create!
We cannot control what others say to us but we can control how we react. Usually when people put us down or say something to belittle us or our accomplishments it has more to do with their self-doubt and insecurities than it has to do with us. Make the choice to not let those words have power over you. Those words do not impact who you are and what you have accomplished. Create that boundary for yourself - you’re worth it.
Registration for our virtual summer programming is now open! Go to www.igniteprograms.com/campsandretreats to learn more about Celebrating Me and Self-Care for Teens!